Start Before You’re Ready
“Are you ready?” Klaus asked finally.
“No.” Sunny answered.
“Me neither,” Violet said, “but if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting the rest of our lives.” — Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator
I was standing on the porch of the tiny green house my daughter’s and I had only just moved into. My head was spinning. My heart was racing. The voice inside me was saying just do it. But then, “I’m not ready. I can’t possibly pack up and move again. We’re just getting settled. What the fuck am I thinking….”
In the preceding months, I had left a marriage that needed leaving. The girls and I regrouped and recouped for a couple of months at the home of my childhood best friend. Meanwhile the other amazing women in my life helped me make a cozy little home out of this weird green box. As the realtor had driven us up to it, the only real option in our town on my current budget, I remember thinking, “Oh God, don’t let it be that one.”
But now I kind of liked it and was standing on it’s postage stamp porch about to make another very big decision I clearly wasn’t ready for. The head spinning and stomach churning was the result of three things that had happened that day (never underestimate the power of three’s, especially when they hit you all at once).
One — the owner of the small private practice I had been contracting with had rather unceremoniously told me it was time for us to part ways. My side of that story has to do with his big ego and know-it-all style. I’m sure his side is quite different, but isn’t that always the case?
Two — our house, the one before ‘the leaving of the marriage’, went under contract. That meant I could get my equity, pay off the debt I had rung up after taking the leap, and maybe — just maybe — breathe again.
Three — a phone call from a friend, offering to partner with me on a new business six hours away in Western Massachusetts. I had just hung up the phone with him and was running through the incredibly timed conversation in my head. “I just spent an entire flight across the country thinking about how I could get you to move out here and do this,” he said, “so I had to call…”
Was I ready? Hell no. Did we do it anyway? Damn right.
That was July of 2015. We scrambled and moved to Williamstown the last week in August, and the girls started in their new school after Labor Day. Today I am 4 years into a successful and growing business. I have a wonderful partner who makes me laugh and think and loves me and my girls.
Had I not taken that opportunity, I’m not sure where we’d be right now. What I’m quite sure of is, had I not ‘started before I was ready’, I’d have regretted it.
I would never describe these last four years as easy. It’s not supposed to be easy. When I look at the strength and humor and wisdom my teen daughters now have — I know unequivocally that I made the right decision.
All progress begins with a brave decision. -Marie Forleo
These days, I see opportunities in everything. I’m not afraid to jump in to a project and make mistakes, because I know it’s the only way toward the next best thing. When I feel myself overthinking something, I take action. Action spawns courage, not the other way around.
So whatever it is that kept you reading today — whatever the next thing is for you (starting to exercise, taking that course you’ve been thinking about, fixing a relationship worth fixing or letting go of one that’s no longer healthy…) take a step. Sign up for the class. Send the email. Pick up the phone. Lace up your sneakers.
Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion.
I had the opportunity to give a talk on my experience with radical change in 2015 at Gray Institute in Adrian, MI.
The inspiration for sharing this story comes from the book I’m currently obsessed with. Everything is Figureoutable, by Marie Forleo.
